It’s that time of year again when the nights are drawing in and all you want to do is hibernate. The perfect time to gather round the fire and tell stories.
So in that vein, for a bit of fun (and boy do we need some fun this year), here’s a classic joke adapted in three different ways:
So a string walks into a bar and the bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve strings here.” The string walks back outside, rolls around in the street, and then twists itself so many times that it gets dizzy. Finally the string staggers back inside. The bartender says, “Hey, aren’t you the same string that just left?” And the string replies, “No, I’m a frayed knot.”
The evangelical minister – how to turn a joke into a sermon!
There was once a string. He was very lonely and found it hard to go out and meet people. But one day he plucked up the courage and went to his local bar. He’d taken hours preparing himself – having a nice relaxing bath, using his new aftershave, wearing his favourite jumper. All things to make him feel more confident.
But as he walked in the bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve strings here.” Can you imagine how the string felt? Upset, like no one wanted him, worthless, not even accepted in his local community.
The string hurried outside feeling desperate. He rolled around in the street, twisting about, curling into a ball, with tears streaming down his face. “Oh, what to do? No one likes me, everybody is against me. Help me Father!” he cried to the Lord.
Then a strength like he’d never known came to him. He felt peace and calm wash over him and thought, “I’m not going to let one person put me off. I’m going to try again.” So he got up, staggered somewhat dizzily after his struggles, and went back inside. The bartender said, “Hey, aren’t you the same string that just left?” And the string, with his new-found confidence replied, “No, I’m a frayed knot.”
And that, my friends, is what Jesus can do for you. When you are feeling powerless, like the whole world is against you, He can give you strength. You only have to pray. Even Jesus was rejected by those in his community (Mark 6:1-6) but by keeping a close walk with his Father and praying daily, He was able to continue with his life and achieve his purpose.
So be like the string, even if you feel like a frayed not. Sometimes the Lord will take you to the point of feeling that bad so you draw close to him. But he’ll always restore you. Whatever your circumstances.
The prime-time news reporter – how to turn a joke into serious news
There’s been more anti-string violence in the Welsh community of Abergaronish. Earlier today a respectable string walked into The Morning Star pub and was refused service. Quote, “We don’t serve strings here.”
The string left and was ambushed by a group of young men who attacked and beat him. Then dragged him back into the pub. When the bartender recognised him – quote, “Hey, aren’t you the same string that just left?” – the string replied, “No, I’m a frayed knot.” And further violence broke out.
This is just one more attack in a wave of violence against strings in Abergaronish.
The gangsta rapper
So a string walks in, into a bar.
The bartender cries, “I’ll eat you like a cannibal!
We won’t serve you here, dis bars for da gangsta.
You just a cheese-string, I’ll eat you like a cannibal!”
Da string slouch out, in bandana blazin’ glory.
Gets rollin’ about, then twists in screaming frenzy.
He come back in, with da gun goin’ rat-a-tat.
“You banning me? I’ll friggin getcha just like that!”
“You dare to come back in, into ma bar?
You are that same string, I’ll eat you like a cannibal!”
Da string steps back, takes a freakin’ shot.
Blows off da barman’s head, “No, I’m a frayed knot!”
I hope you enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it. We copywriters do this kind of thing for fun you know.